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 new poem |
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(#1)
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Dreamer
 
Posts: 1,130
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new poem -
10-22-2009, 04:39 PM
after having a long stressed out week a poem started to come to mind, this is the longest poem i have ever written in word its 3 pages long, i want to know what you think of it
LIFE
As we stand on the edge We gaze out over the endless Looking down without a sound Feeling the remorse of the dauntless A sigh escapes to fall so far An echo on the wind And returns the silence without a mar A thought lost in the abyss the end Ground and sky blend into one Darkness below the bright sky One last glance but not down So high the clouds, one wonders why Deep breath Eyes closed Arms wide We sing Flying, Flying Falling, Falling Spinning, Spinning Dancing, Dancing Laughing, Crying One step one chance To shine without balance Sun moves away As we sink into the day Others around us Emotional chorus Fleeting feelings Slowly weeping Darkness enclosing Starlight forgetting Daylight afraid Suns that are not paid Deep breath Eyes closed Arms wide We sing Flying, Flying Falling, Falling Spinning, Spinning Dancing, Dancing Laughing, Crying Faster yet faster we go No solid thoughts or ground Hearts beats as one So fast, yet too slow To late to say no We wait for the pound No one wants to be alone Yet when do we grow This wasn’t done for show All we seek is the end One pure as stone Yet clean as snow Deep breath Eyes closed Arms wide We sing Flying, Flying Falling, Falling Spinning, Spinning Dancing, Dancing Laughing, Crying Unbound unstrung Restraint is lacking Free at last Worldly worries are you Bound strung Freedom is forbidden Restraints abound Worldly worries around Free, yet chained Alone in a crowded room Drowning in the desert Burning in the snow Deep breath Eyes closed Arms wide We sing Flying, Flying Falling, Falling Spinning, Spinning Dancing, Dancing Laughing, Crying We laugh at the next We see it coming Coming, coming Stop From the cliffs At worlds end We hear s song Echoing up So beautiful so pure We follow it down Over the edge Echoing up once more Deep breath Eyes closed Arms wide We sing Flying, Flying Falling, Falling Spinning, Spinning Dancing, Dancing Laughing, Crying "Hold your breath count to three and do a dance to death with me" ~Sacred-Souls  "If you live a lie long enough, It will become your truth." |
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(#2)
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Lurker
Posts: 299
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Location: Sadly, reality.
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10-22-2009, 05:56 PM
That is really pretty! I like it a lot!
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| The Following User Says Thank You to x--Yoko For This Useful Post: | Neverarine (10-22-2009) |
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(#3)
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Banned
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Location: Akhetaton.
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10-22-2009, 06:30 PM
Very good, I'm a poet myself, and I've read many poems. This one, in particular, contains a lot of emotions. My rating is 4/5, as it is hard to get a 3 from me. If you ask a few of my friends, they'll tell you that getting my 3 is hard. Still, I have to say that I enjoyed reading this, and you might even get my 5 in the future !
Keep up the good work, my friend. You are doing great, and the lines are filled with your feelings, anyone can feel that. |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to LustrousDragon For This Useful Post: | Neverarine (10-22-2009) |
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(#4)
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Dreamer
Posts: 1,130
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10-22-2009, 10:54 PM
thanks lol i know the feeling are vivid before i wrote it down i could feel those feeling trying to get out, i am just glad i worked out
"Hold your breath count to three and do a dance to death with me" ~Sacred-Souls "If you live a lie long enough, It will become your truth." |
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(#5)
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Wing_Zero01
is Offline
tHe PsYcHoTiC ManAGeR
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10-22-2009, 11:03 PM
all I can say is.......nice!
B-Day gift from Andross. Click here to see full text
step..step.. down the street... step..step.. up the steps... tap..tap.. on your door... turn..turn.. open the door... look..look.. nobody there... turn..turn.. turn around... stab..stab.. goes my machete... slash..slash.. makes a mess... dig..dig.. hide the pieces... swing..swing.. through the door... step..step.. down the steps... step..step.. down the street... ... ... silence... |
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(#6)
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Addict
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10-23-2009, 04:25 PM
that's a good poem... I think you could actually make a song and use this as lyrics
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(#7)
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Dreamer
Posts: 1,130
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Seed Points: 1,143
Thanks: 8
Thanked 11 Times in 11 Posts
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Wishing I was there, once more
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10-23-2009, 04:28 PM
song? i don kno anything about music but that would be cool
"Hold your breath count to three and do a dance to death with me" ~Sacred-Souls "If you live a lie long enough, It will become your truth." |
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(#8)
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Master Swordmen
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Location: I am with {Insert name here}
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10-23-2009, 04:40 PM
good poem! thumbs up. I hope to read some more later.
i'll find/make a sig. as soon as i have time. |
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(#9)
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Banned
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10-23-2009, 06:00 PM
I'd say we have many talents in this forum, and you are one of the talented people, Nevarrine...I mean Neverarine
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(#10)
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My heart goes doki doki !
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Holland
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10-23-2009, 07:29 PM
WOW thats Really Beautifull you know o.O
Let me hear your voice If we become honest, surely Well be able to understand each other Please open your heart Just let me hear your voice |
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| Tags |
| ....., art, color, exp, fall, friend, friends, good, late, love, music, night, people, poem, rating, sig, start, week, words, writing, yui |
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