[Zilithandria Moonlight]

:<3 ANIME FANFICTION CROSSOVER :<3


She landed with a loud thump and groan after a long fall through a forest of trees; not five seconds after she made contact with the hard ground, though it was covered in grass soaked with the evening dew, she was already complaining. "Owww. Now where am I? And wherever I am, how did I come to this place?!"
Quickly realizing how alone she was, the seventeen year old blonde girl thought about the dangers of the night, and what they might hold for her; she struggled to sit up despite the pain that wreaked through her body. "Well, Anna, you've found yourself some trouble now." She muttered quietly to herself as she watched a lone wolf approaching. Anna found a jagged stick nearby and gripped it as she stood in a defensive position until the wolf suddenly disappeared in a "poof". "An illusion?!" She was undoubtedly startled, as who wouldn't be when they're out of sorts?

[privateryann]

Your sentences run on a bit too long, and the thought is a bit chaotic. Try to organize things a bit more, and add details where they need to be added. I would edit it, but I feel like that'd be infringing on your creative freedom or something... Well, keep practicing.

[keninu_heartthrob]

Cool, can't wait for the next installment...

[Sake]

Your adding too much detail, (not that its a bad thing) but it makes it so you don't have very good sentence fluency, and also for poof you could of just said vanished or "was gone when I turned my head around for a second looking at my surroundings."